Then I went back to the store and bought a bunch of bananas. They called the cash machine for 79 cents and I was fine. The store had brought in eight hundred. I picked them up and rescanned them. They were 80 cents now. My ability to gain weight in two seconds apparently applies to everything I touch.

I almost, almost called the cashier to refund my penny, but decided the madness ended there. She would have seen that I had scanned the bananas twice and my good intentions would unravel.

I came home with my bananas and actually brought them home. I told David what I had endured for honesty.

“You know everything that was picked up by security cameras, don’t you?” he said.

“Yeah, and they’re probably being watched and wondering why a crazy woman pays twice for things,” I said. This is the chance I had to take.

I reconciled this believing they would think the bananas weren’t scanned the first time around.

He has a happy ending so far. I ate a banana two days in a row.

Problem is, I have bananas in my freezer once again that I’m going to have to contend with. And like I said at the start of this sad story, I don’t really like banana bread.

As with most things in life, the answer will have to be chocolate chips, which when added to banana bread make it tasty.